"Thanks, but I am not interested in getting together. Let the guy heal and be at peace without you, you lost your chance. That said, I think if you're really close friends, you shouldn't feel the need to avoid eye contact or stop being friends with him. This lets him know you are interested since it seems like he's hovered around for a few months and has no idea where your headspace is in being "ready". It's very awkward/embarrassing and 2. Unambiguous, leaves no room for counterargument, and reasonably polite. "I liked being your friend. I don’t think you will hear from him again because it was never about just a friendship for him. Don't make a big production. Some people can't handle being friends and that's okay too. They made sure not to hurt me in how they rejected me. I suck at expressing myself in person and it took him two days to respond. Some people can't handle the truth at all times. He can't say those things to you. •. Do that at the beginning and you'll save yourself some trouble. That's a really shitty analogy. You can absolutely remain friends. Share. Reply reply. However, only 1 of these has some benefit: 1) Just doing it shows confidence 2) Asking shows you're NOT confident. Tell them that you don’t see them like that. Selfish as it may be, it hurts. Something along these line should work “thanks for the offer but I am not interested. Instead of obsessing over why he rejected you, focus on yourself and what you want in a partner, because it's obviously not going to be him no matter what you do. But as a good general purpose rejection, "Thank you for asking, but I am not interested in dating you," works well. Absolutely none at all. Hand up, palm out, in the classic "stop" signal, shake your head no. Just got rejected by my best friend, friendship over for now, need support! So, my best friend and I have been in a complicated situation for a few months now. They are the exact type who can turn violent when the frustration of not having what they want gets too much. How it will play out is a guess depending on your reaction and his reaction to your no. If not, I don't mind being your friend, no pressure. You want to reject a guy without getting his feeling hurt and without you looking like a bitch who's rejecting perfectly good guy. rejection: Sometimes rejection doesn't mean "Never," just "Not right now. I’m very very new to this dating thing so I have no idea how to say no. You can say you’re busy with work, with family, with friend or even your fake boyfriend. I've been on both sides of this (confessed to a guy and got rejected; got a confession and rejected a guy). You may have to shoot your shot here and ask him out. I realize many women will have a collection of anecdotal evidence that men cannot handle the truth in these matters - and tantrums will happen (I should know, I was one of the kind of men to throw them). Respond to his texts very slowly. And if we're friends that's a good start imo but doesn't need to lead to anything obviously. Being rejected sucks, and the way you feel is normal. Years later, we both realize that we are perfect as friends. [deleted] Sort by: SuzQP. 4. Serious. Just say things like, is good to hang out with a friend and stuff like that. You said no. Now, if you actually LIKE the guy, his height should not even be part of the equation. Be direct. But I make an effort to reach out at least once, then leave it up to him to contact me. Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly. Zero. Tell him you care about him very much, but that the things he said and did aren't appropriate for a friendship. He took it nicely, said that he wants to be friends because he is cherishing every moment with me. As someone who isn't involved in your situation, my first thought was to tell him that same line he gave to you, except to throw in an extra line on top of it. Since she does not want him in a romantic way, that's the end of things. He went on vacation for 2 weeks, then he wanted to meet up again and I agreed ( I wanted to give him a second chance, I try not to reject people right away) and we ended up having sex. Don't dick him around. Prolonging the situation only makes it worse. • 3 yr. Award. I agreed. He rejected me, then realized he made a mistake, but I was already with my current partner. " She said no, she just saw me as a friend, and I said "Ok, good having you as a friend, unless anything changes we can forget this conversation ever happened ;)". The kindest thing you can do is make things crystal clear when you tell them there won't be a romantic relationship. • 5 yr. Also, maybe stop planning and going for one on one meetings for a while. You are absolutely correct. If you’re setting a boundary you can never know how someone will react and frankly, it’s not your responsibility to make them feel better. I asked for "time" to process. If he's an acquaintance: Slightly guilty. We don’t text at all aside from planning the dates (can someone tell me if that’s normal?). : r/IAmA. I get asked out a lot by guys that I kinda know (they’re not close friends but they’re not strangers) and idk how to let them down It sort of depends on how he's asking me. BUT I have no attraction. This is what you should do. I just flat out said something along the lines of "I've had a crush on you for a while, curious if you feel that way too. For someone who doesn’t want to lose you as a friend, his behaviour is very pushy and off-putting. It's like a [friend] saying, how do I keep this guy [being my friend] without [having sex] with him. But that leads to my second point. Now I’ve already agreed that I’d be down to see him again but I just don’t think If you're comfortable coming out to him, tell him that you're not into guys. I would just be honest. Note: I have never talked to any of them or even sat with them like. He always asks to see me again after a date and I just don’t have the heart to say no. the_jennifer_lopez • 2 yr. It sucks, but if he doesnt take the hint, he really isnt a good friend anyways so why would you want him around. Run away from this guy. Not many friends stay with you all your life, and your room mate might be one of that temporary friend. First, it displays a disrespect for the emotional capacity of men and their egos. I felt so bad for him, he's such a sweet and funny guy, very respectful, smart Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Girl insists on being friends after rejecting me twice. My mum passed away not long after. Don't make up an elaborate story. Apr 26, 2024 · 3. The reason we are all still friends after all these years is because of mutual respect. Since this is the second time, next time you make a "guy" friend make sure you let him know whenever you can how great a friend he is. If your mind is made up, it is best to clearly state your response. I'll be distant for a while, then if there's still pretty decent camaraderie, hopefully we'll be good again in time. If he's a friend: Really guilty. I thought he felt the same way because everytime we saw each other, we would hold hands and he would hug me, buy me little presents, ask me to meet one on one for lunch etc. just tell them you are not into guys and they'll disappear, if they ask you if you are into girls or anything else, just don't answer and say you have to go somewhere or do something in urgency. I have no interest in dating. Two nights ago I had asked out my best friend and not only did I get rejected but told the reasons why we wouldn't work out and why I'm not a good choice. He's single but dates. The only times it's ever been memorable have been due to violence or abusive and cruel language on part of the man involved. Hearing "No" frees you to move on. You told him you were not interested 6 times and he continues bothering you. ) Guys are simple, i. "No thanks, not interested. Some of them will do things that are morally awful. lol i’ll have to work out a way to do it in the most subtle manner. But I get that some people can't go with that sometimes. If you genuinely don’t like his height because you like a guy a bit taller, to each their own but don’t continue to waste this guys time. But I've had a couple times that a guy has insisted on it. I had a guy "friend" who was into me. Tell him you slept with over 100 guys. This is a longer play, but you can wait till he makes a move on you and then tell. I see how my girl friends reject guys and I'm laughing my ass of each time. • 10 yr. I got super drunk once. (he may decline) Unfortunately, he didn't decline. It hurts for sometime but eventually you'll realize it is for best. If you two don't end up working well as a couple then you can put it past you and remain friends. 3. Try your best to be kind. If he's Still bothering you a couple days later, tell him straight up you don't want to hang out. dumb, when it comes to messages about relationships. Obnoxiousness like this might be why he doesn’t want to date you. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Be clear and direct if you want to pursue something with this guy. I would just ghost him but keep those messages that he send you as evidence if you need to get a restraining order against him. Kudos to him for working up the courage - but the right way to reject a specific man is whatever way that keeps you the safest in that particular instance. It is not going to happen". • 2 yr. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Don't see him over Thanksgiving. That easy. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report butto Because, thing is: I'm so not into him. I don't get interested in random women mostly, I need to know them first and that usually means becoming friends. No. You're not selfish for this. First of all, I do not want to go on a date with someone I am not interested in. . Women shouldn’t even have to contemplate or second guess how we deliver boundary setting statements, but we do because we never know how a man is going to react. Long story short, we hooked up, he went on a trip and changed his mind about getting with me, we were still cuddling and stuff on and off but he insisted he had no feelings Oct 20, 2023 · 21 Better off without me. However, in this case its getting way out of hand. Standard "sorry, not interested <insert comforting smile here>" goes a long way. He texted me and said he was flattered that I have a crish on him but only sees me as a friend. Update, so I told the boy how I feel, via Xmas card I tucked in the gift I gave him during brunch. Communication is key in situations like these. I can see how a guy would feel worse rejecting a girl, since they generally don't send very many messages. Thinking quickly on the spot, I told him, “sorry, I’m going with my brother. ago. Tell him it really upset you. " Simple, you tell him you’re not interested in him and explain why. If he genuinely cares about you beyond this attraction, he'll respect your feelings. 9. koalasnstuff. This may come out of the blue for you but as we got to know each other I realised I liked you as more than just a friend and would like to go out on a date with you when we're free". The general rule for the acceptance of a gift you cannot reciprocate is to decline three times and, if the giver insists, accept graciously. I accepted a bit of emotional support from him so he is nice in that way. There's no reason to be mean about it. Nada. Imo the problem is when a guy confesses, most of the time he comes on too strong and too fast. If you want to date other people say so. A few days ago I asked her out again. Any sort of excuse or additional information will just be translated as "So you're saying there's a chance!" in their mind. [3] If someone asks you to date them and you don't want to, you can be direct and kind at the same time. On average, guys message girls, meaning guys send a lot of messages and are used to rejection, and girls receive a lot and are used to rejecting. If he's a good friend, he'd understand and back off. How do I reject my friend without hurting his feelings, losing him forever, or causing problems/drama? Edit: I’ve seen multiple responses saying I should just go out with him. Rip off the band-aid instead of pulling it off slowly. If dude is hitting on women in grocery stores with cheap pick up lines he's going to get a lot of rejection. Scroll_Queeen. I honestly don’t know if he wants to hangout as just friends or more so advice is really appreciated!! long story short - i met this guy in clg. " i’ve been having a hard time to reject guys that confesses to me. Otherwise you can accept the request, then click the three dots and unfriend (silly that you can't just outright deny a request though) 6. Just say so. You need to learn how to shut this shit down immediately. If she doesn't want a kiss, she'll just turn away. Not into him at all. Imagine being rejected for her He's my best guy friend. It won't be any more awkward than if you keep having to blow him off or you ignore the messages, and at least it will save you the stress of worrying every time your phone goes off that it's him. He has already confessed to me four times till now and everytime I have rejected him very politely and was direct in my approach. Do not beat around the bush. Confessed to guy best friend and got rejected. You appreciate the friendship as it is and don’t want to risk it. No feelings. 2. Think of it this way, she's either going to comply, or she's going to reject it. I hope that you understand. Tell him you think of him as a brother or good friend. Like when your friend ends up dating your ex. I would personally never give a girl flowers if I wasn't romantically interested, but I also wouldn't maintain a friendship with someone I was interested in if the interest was not mutual. Usually I’d just come out and say I don’t see anything happening between me and this guy, but he doesn’t know that I know he’s into me and I also feel like an asshole shutting him down when we’ve literally only conversed once, but I don’t want to let him keep thinking that something might happen between us when I’m just not I rejected a guy friend and now he wants to hang out one last time. He sounds like he could get abusive for being rejected. since a few days he's been continuously flirting with me. Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected. shewhogoesthere. It hurt a lot, like salt in a wound, but I didn't break down in tears, I If you say you're not down to hangout (for whatever reason) and it keeps up, do block him. But if a guy seems to be too dumb for his own good and just not get it, feel free to be cold and direct (in the long run it will help him, too, some people just learn harder), consider that an educational slap of sorts. If you click "manage friends" and click on the portrait, you can block the person if they are being a pest. UPDATE: I went out with him and told him everything gently but honestly: that I don't see myself with him EVER, that he is amazing guy but I don't want anything romantic with him and I see him only as a friend. I have told him that I can't be in a relationship at this point in my life. Anyway, 2 days ago again he asked me to marry him. If you do not want to date someone, it is best to be upfront about your feelings. cyanocobalamin. If he doesnt accept it, stop being his friend. Tell him he's not your type and you didn't lie and that you said you were not looking for a relationship at that time but you found one recently with a guy that you was your type. Whatever you do, it’s going to be better than what I did when a guy I didn’t like asked me to prom. Tell him and be super clear. I have a guy friend who considers me "more than his friend" but I don't like him in that way. For now, just tell him that you think of him as a friend. (And Harry Styles would at least somewhat Match my type which the work guy absolutely does not. or I'm going to see the movie with my friend if he wants to join. It's the "Maybe" that leaves you stuck in limbo. . NotYourStereotype. mind you i ain't reciprocating AT ALL. This is the definition of fuck around and find out/play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I can tell that most girls DON'T like when you ask. How can I reject him while still being his friend? TLDR; How can I reject a guy nicely? See full list on wikihow. " I usually have 3 steps: Shake my head and smile and yell "sorry not interested! Have a nice night!" I also put my hands up in front of me in a clear "no thanks" gesture so they can't use the loud noise to "lean in and hear what I'm saying" lol You’re dating for you. Being straightforward is crucial in every rejection scenario. We don’t even have the same circle of friends I only saw the eldest son at a graduation party once and it was a family event like I was with my parents (and this is almost three years ago) Fast forward today we are all adults and working. Just slip into a conversation some time. Wait till he comes to you, try to not destroy him but be firm. It's a lose-lose situation. So I started talking to him back like a friend. I mean, embarrassingly drunk - throwing up in the bathroom drunk. Handle it like it's his loss. You have no idea how badly the guy is going to react. These things happen and you both should be mature enough to move past it. Or check it out in the app stores I guess it depends on how much you actually like him, and only you know the answer to that. Just in case you dk, he is pretty close and precious friend of mine and confessed to me a few days ago. A guy cuts ties from the girl for the same reason that some people who divorce cut away. Depends. I (20F) confessed to my guy best friend (35 M) that I had feelings for him and he rejected me. TenaciousVeee. Kind of makes me wonder why you were friends with someone you could hurt and shrug off like it is nothing. He wants her in a romantic way and friendship is not going to satisfy him. Doesn't matter if the guy is working to make money for that end or working to help poor people or working to find a cure for cancer, if it isn't playing into her "dream" life, then the relationship isn't working. It would be best if you give her a bit of space for a couple of weeks. “Hi (guy’s name) I just want to say that I appreciate your proposal last night. IMO sometimes being a bit harsh is necessary because people like that Reply. If they don’t respect your boundary that’s on them and you can’t let the fear of how they will react stop you from doing it. For school, job, etc. There are many, many, many men who are not at all ok with a woman asking them out/making the first move/being "forward". You need to gently draw a boundary. Bamb00zledchubs • 2 yr. All it takes is for one move to make it go left or right. If you want to do it "nice way", you are doing it wrong. The first time you treat them as a friend after you've rejected them, they think you are interested romantically. It's a bigger deal, I guess. Don't be mean, but be clear. Tell him strongly, no. "After you rejected me, I thought a lot about what you said and I decided you were right, that I like people who tell me the truth. he texted on WhatsApp. Tell him those words directly. So I made two posts related to this already. You fucked up and are probably interested in him now because he rejected further conversations with you. All the women I know (including myself) HATE being in the position where they have to reject a guy because 1. I don't owe them anything. I was able to properly process and move on from the rejection because it wasn't done in a selfish, noncaring way. Most of the time they just agree or follow up with a "You sure?" and then drop it. IAmA girl who just got rejected by my male best friend. If the person is male, the best way of “politely rejecting them” is to say you just want to be friends 😅. e. • 8 yr. Or there is this song by the Doubleclicks called "will they or won't they" use Welcome to r/dating_advice!. He just texted me “Can I ask you something?” so I know what’s coming. not_ur_business_. Just tell him, ' Look I'm busy and don't have time to hang out ' and if he persists, ignore him. In fact, I'm not into anyone. Men who like men instead of women, men who don't want a relationship with anyone at all. But if a guy wants that from the outset, then that also is unattractive and then becomes a dealbreaker. i just say thanks and move on ( nicely and politely ofc not in a way that this is one of the nth compliments i received as such ). Some of them remained friends and some didn't- but after that line has been crossed between friendship and wanting more, how the person handles the rejection can have a pretty significant impact on the friendship. He needs to respect that. A real friend wouldn’t shove himself into your space, call your friendship a challenge to be overcome, and make fun of your attempts to find someone new to date. If you don't mind his company as a casual friend, I'd offer to let him join you two. Not reciprocated. So it is pointless to be upset about it, just move on and find people with similar mindset. Long Story Short: I had a crush on this girl and asked her out last year. The guy is insulted by the patronizing and dissolves the friendship; or The guy continues to hold out hope, as that line from the sugarcoat playbook didn't get the point across well enough. Remind him you're dating someone else, and not him. I'll usually politely decline. AMA. 1. If your heart can be broken by finding out that someone's not into you, you are investing way way too much energy into being in a relationship in your head with someone who doesn't even know you're interested. Give your family and any friends that may be impacted the heads up that he's making you uncomfortable so they don't "help" him try to see you. we became friends. com He's clearly not interested in being her friend, otherwise he would have behaved differently when he was rejected. Tell him "Gretchen, stop trying to make 'fetch' happen. Tell your new friend that, while you so appreciate her generosity, you simply cannot Any advice on how to casually reject a guy without hurting his feelings? My friend just wants me to not respond but I feel like that would be rude considering he took me to prom and has been really nice to me. You need to document every encounter and make sure you keep mace or something to protect yourself while you go and do things. You need to put your foot down and not let him run over you. Like others have posted, if this isn't platonic then you're probably gonna find out soon. Reply. Don’t string him along. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression”. So, AGAIN I am forced in situation of having to reject him. 7. Let him be. As guy that has done the same, same. Online dating isn't even safe from men who lash out when they are rejected, a polite "No thank you. If he's only putting in effort to be your friend because he has the hots for you then he's not a true friend. This is a situation I've run into a few times as a woman. " Lets you know you still have some learning and growing and improving to do, and you can try again later when you're really ready. Presses send. Like, restless nights guilty. But generally, if you are interested in meeting guys and find yourself getting "rejected", I'd suggest changing your location and context. Saying that getting rejected when you ask someone out is "breaking their heart" is kind of unhinged. Be forward with him and tell him it’s not going to work out. She rejected me, but we became close friends. what i do is i reply late, send dry messages, talk to them about someone i like, or talk like we are really close friends for them to get the hint that i think of them as a friend only. i’ve been having a hard time to reject guys that confesses to me. none of the these is a great way of rejecting someone its just that i dont know what to say. He’s a foreign exchange student and doesn’t have any friends here, so I want to still be friends with him. The last thing you want to see is that person parading their new relationship around. even i compliment on his guitar What you say is that you want to talk about the night this happened. ”. You could put Harry Styles, on his knees and willing, in front of me and that wouldn't change. Please keep the rules of r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. I'll accept an offer for a date, and a guy will offer to pick me up. I rejected him pretty clearly and bluntly quite a few times and then yesterday I rejected again properly for the last time. ThrowRA2904120. Wrong. ” Later that day, I told my brother he had to be my “date” to prom because I used him as an excuse to not go with that guy. I like us better as friends anyway and he said he wants me in his life any way possible. I don't like him that way and he keeps lying to me that he has familly even though a girl i'm friends with still from the psych ward told me that he's from the orphanage he was also in several psych wards,when i got there first i found out he has been there 6 months and since then he's been moved in several other psych wards even now he is If you’ve said you’re busy and he keeps asking you should directly tell him you aren’t interested. ADMIN MOD. However, it seems that not replying to your texts means that she feels a bit awkward about your friendship. I have enjoyed texting you as friend but I am not interested in anything further. However, I would like to say that you are better off without me because (put your reason here) and I really think that I would not be able to reciprocate your attention right now. When you stop talking to him he'll try workarounds to discern when you'll be available. This will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene. Be careful of men like this. I Am A, where the mundane becomes fascinating and the outrageous suddenly seems normal. He is an awesome friend, but I just can't see him in a sexual or romantic way. fz ej is lf sg bj ai gi lx rd