We went for a week, paid for it ourselves, and saw no issue with us going. We were supposed to spend the whole day together in the park. NTA. I then cut my father off. AITA For Admitting To My Half-Sibling That I Don't Love Them Enough. Any other way that your mom has spun it, isn't your fault either. You are not obligated to treat your siblings or half siblings equally. Their dad died when they were 6 and mom remarried when they were 10. ask the therapist about DARVO. AITA for taking back the things my mom gave to my siblings? Edit: Someone asked if everything adds up and asked if I was making it up so price breakdown time I guess. If your stepmom is upset that she and her children didn't get a place that's on her. (ii) they don't want anyone else in the f r/AmItheAsshole. Throwaway just in case someone I know finds this. ADMIN MOD. When his siblings come and stay, you and the kids stay in a hotel or air b&b. My husband (late 20s) are both childfree, and have multiple siblings each. My (17F) dad cheated on my mom when I was 5. Welcome! r/AmItheAsshole. Ok, so this is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. My [17m] mother’s [38f] fiance “Larry” [40m] moved in with her AITA for not caring about my half siblings? Not the A-hole. As a backstory, my father's side of the family is one of those stereotypical conservative families, that are all about. NTA if you don't have a relationship with your half-siblings. . well. I’m close with all of them; life stages don’t make or break a relationship. That's too young to be left alone for (it sounds like) several hours. I decided at 14 I would never be the one to reach out and make contact Ben is lucky to have a sister who cares about him so much to do something like this for him. Backstory in short. Sounds like you’ve actively chosen not to take part in your siblings lives, just as much as they have yours. You have a baby sibling, which depending on family size, can also be an important position. Original Post - Oct 25, 2023. Ideally you would have called your date, explained the situation and asked her if you could reschedule or if she could come over while you tried to track down Jessica or her parents to get the kids. Asshole. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. This is parentification. You don't have to pretend you love her, but you're refusing to acknowledge her existence, and that's not the same as "treating [her] differently. Your mother packed your suitcase and left it at the door. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Especially in NY, and the one that makes 97k has two kids already. So they are her step-sisters, but not mine. In 2018 my dad was diagnosed with a rare incurable cancer, I spent every waking moment taking care of him as he quickly became incapable of doing so himself. My older siblings say that she’s our mom, and we should forgive her. You or your mother have no obligation to provide a ‘mom’ to your half-siblings. My sister has 6 kids and is a single parent. My mother eventually let them go live with their father after years of acting against me All 3 of them. Me and my family do not get on, we haven’t for a long time. My husband and I bought a house when rates were very low, in a less than desirable location, and well under our means. But like always, hear me out. I (16F) went out with my mother (49F) , little brother (12M) ,and some of my father's siblings and their kids (which is my 3 aunts, 1 uncle and his wife, and 11 cousins). 17 users here now. Growing up, I was the Golden child. I started saving when this was confirmed back in April. When she passes, do what needs to be done to take care of yourself and your sibling. In case this story gets deleted/removed: AITA for telling my daughter that it’s still her duty to help with her siblings. I'll refer to oldest half bro as 'Jack'. family join leave 444,405 readers. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I don't want to meet my bio parents with my bio sisters despite us finding them. As usual my mother brought food and games , about "Your half siblings adore you and think you adore them too. im now a senior in college and moved off campus into a 3 ADMIN MOD. 1. AITA for telling my half siblings I won't come home for Christmas? Not the A-hole. ADMIN. $500 pc, $250 for the wii, $300 for the Xbox (used from GameStop), $200 for the ps4 (eBay) and $60 dnd related and $190 worth of Over the years I have noticed side comments and being left out of sibling and family events on my dads side of the family. AITA for being firm with my teenage half sibling in Facebook DMs? Not the A-hole. You are being disingenuous here. About a year after we split up Josie got pregnant with Eva from a one night stand. AITA for refusing to share my inheritance with a "sibling"? Not the A-hole. These are also my half siblings. Sorry this is a repost, as this was removed from the previously. My mother and stepfather are going to be going away for a long time It’s not abuse or parentification to watch a younger sibling once in a while. I have siblings that range from 16 years older than me to 8 years younger. I am 27, with a 3 years old son. You’re jealous that those kids get their dad full time when you’ve had to grow up 15-16 years without one. Vote and comment on others' posts. I (20m) am a single child or at least I thought I was. He's got 6 kids with 3 women. AITA for not including my half siblings in sibling bracelets? Not the A-hole. Offer your babysitting services for a mere $20 per hour per kid. SD - sperm donor, aka bio father - I've never met him. The older I got the more the exclusions hurt. It happens. As far as what you told your half-siblings, well their parents had failed them and you needed to get through to them. My half siblings are 7f, 6m, 5f and 3m. But they promised us next year we would get it as a makeup. Perhaps a bit unreasonable, but at least make them check into hiring babysitters on their own and let them see how much it costs. My mom was understandably hurt when she found out about the cheating and was willing forgive my dad and stay married until she found In my childhood, my half-siblings from my mother's first marriage didn't handle my arrival well. Her reaction to it is her fault. That guy never stepped up. I was so excited to help her plan her wedding and I took on most of the work since i was unemployed at the time and she's a doctor. I wasn't mean to my siblings or anything and i frequently stood up for them against my parents, but you can't change aweful people. (2) Everyone tells me I should love them because they’re my siblings and I should suck it up and get along because I’m their older sibling and I matter to The title should be: AITA for leaving toxic member because of drug addicted sibling. Your father is a moron to think his first wife needs to mother his next two children with other women. Regardless I would be most likely to get some type of government job. So start a new tradition: Invite your parents over for the next day, without your sister. My siblings were at the time (22f) and (24m). My siblings spend more time with my dad because there’s a lot more room and less chaos. Yes, it hurts your mother and her husband to see that their children are treated differently, but they cannot force your paternal grandparents into accepting children not related to them. Refusing to invite my toxic Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin to my wedding : r/AmItheAsshole. You did not consent to raising your siblings. . Then on the day of their birthday just go missing. Throwaway so they don't find this post. I (22F) have two brothers for the sake of this post I'll call them John (18M) and Terry (16M). However, you cannot abandon a 7 & 9 year old. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Edit: Thanks everyone for all of the supportive comments! I’m newish to reddit so I just saw all of them lol. They both treated me equally and made sure to take time out of their lives to help me with school or just hang out watch movies etc. Since your dad was the cause of it all, you might want to reconsider inviting him. Technically, he is my bio dad, we did a DNA test, but legally I am my father's kid and for the purposes of this story I will be referring to my legal father as "dad" while my bio-dad will be referred to as Guests are a two yes, one no. Story time: I have 2 older sibling who are in their late 20's, they were the best siblings to me especially when growing up. Your argument would only make sense if the brother’s name were Jeff or Robert, or some such. it stands for deny, attack, reverse victim, and offender. I guess I should clarify that I have a degree in criminology and have been considering going to law school or possibly joining the military. Reassure your mother that you will do everything in your power to take good care of your sibling after your mother passes. But don't sacrifice your health, your life, your future to make your mother happy. Subreddit Announcement Educational-Cloud102. Was married, ( arranged marriage overseas, ex spouse lives there) and have been divorced for 2 years. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I used my step siblings bathroom becuase I couldn’t use mine and I didnt ask. Hello all, this is the situation I’m in. Both of my parents have been supportive but awkward about it. AITA for telling my sister to stop copying me? Not the A-hole. My mom's argument that my step and half siblings would feel so rejected might be true and is why I question if I maybe am TA. 80. I suspect that both of them are narcissistic and they avoid talking about any problems or taking responsibility. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. None of this is on you. My siblings could not afford to even really help without running the risk of throwing their own lives into disarray. Hello reddit. They also found it strange that I wasn't their father's daughter. I have a grand total of 14 nieces and nephews, which is a lot I know. " (into thinking you care about us when you don't. My mom (50F) has always had a stronger liking towards both John and Terry, ever since they were little they could do no harm in her eyes. Find out if you were wrong or right in an argument. She kicked you out. Myself (19F), 3 half siblings on my mom's side (15, 11, and 9), 4 stepsiblings (14, 12, 9, and 6), and 1 full sister (6f). Just last night my grandmother was telling me she got put on a new $500/month medication, and I expressed how grateful I am that they’re in a position to afford that without undue hardship. Make a big stink about saving up and buying it. IcyTap6812. ZangetsuTenshou. Your uncles opinion is irrelevant. If you have a care team (therapist, primary care provider, school counselir) tell them your mom is expecting you to take on responsibility for a recovering addict at the expense if your mental health. AITA for telling my half-siblings the truth after my dad sprung them on me? Not the A-hole. This was a decision made by him after the death of my twin sister. Between my parents and my latest stepfather, we had 8 kids living here. But then we got back and we were all called out by our mom for not inviting our stepsiblings (18f) and (21m) at the time. You did not birth your siblings. They are innocent in the whole drama your dad caused. Trigger Warnings: exploitation, emotional manipulation. My (19) parents divorced 3 years ago. You are not a brat. My siblings were less than impressed with the location and had said they would never live in such a city, but good for us. Your accomplishments were never first, or if you were first, they were downplayed because your older sibling and your parents were sensitive to the oldest being seen as a failure. I have 3 biological siblings, (10, 13, and 15). MOD. My half siblings are 9, 7 and 5. Then when you get home at the end of the day explain they get no gifts because you spent the money elsewhere. This situation could make me the asshole as i know my bio sisters want us to go together and my refusal is disheartening for them. I (28f) have been married to my husband, (42m) for 2 years, together for 4. And don't come home until the house is clean again. AITA? Refusing to invite my toxic Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin to my wedding. Recently it has gotten worse though. Join the community of moral philosophers and share your dilemmas. He needs to have some respect for his spouse and the mother of his (and your) children. CartographerOther851. family Idk if it’s Op case but in my case not all the siblings help, personally was with my grandparents they raised me and from the kids they had (grandma11 which 9were my grandpa) only 4 of my aunts were taking care of them and eventually I joined when I moved to the USA at age 21 sending a monthly allowance and eventually fixing their paperwork for them to live with us in the USA back in 2010. While I do not dislike children, I don't want children of my own, and I made this very ADMIN MOD. (2) Not attending my sibling's wedding can make me look like an asshole. Ben wants to have a relationship with his big sister, Bella doesn’t. I currently live with my sister (27f) and will be spending Christmas with her and my brother (26m). When I (21f) was 19 my siblings and I went on vacation. YTA for telling them that they are spoiling your siblings. My bio mom set up the fund for me before she passed away and it was meant for my education. This is my first time posting on Reddit so bare with me. We shared a dad, who left my mom after cheating on her for their mom (who was 23 when this all went down). Mom always struggled with his loss, and she removed NTA - You might try an unreasonable tack to make them really think about it. I (18f) moved out of my father's house a few months ago. AITA for selling my house and making my siblings and their families homeless? Not the A-hole POO Mode. My sister's mum has remarried last year and her husband has two daughters. I (16f) came along two years later, my sister (15f) a year after me and my brother (13m) two years after her. Typical, The title sounds terrible. Significant-Past9506. Help keep the sub engaging! We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. My (24F) half sister (21F) on my mom's side and my half brother (22M) on my dad's side are getting married in December. My mom and Dave call him my dad, they refer to themselves as my parents, but I only ever use his name, and use his name in conversation with others. At this point your family most likely has no idea what happened and you did not, I repeat, did not, abandon your mother and siblings. Just over a year ago, I discovered that I have a sister, Lucy. I normally wake my siblings up get them ready for school. They are 16 and 15. It is understandable that you feel that way but try to reflect your jealousy on your (half)siblings since they have no fault at it at all. I think they deleted the comment but here it is. You could/should be excited for your siblings marriages and kids. That way, he can deal with their shit and you can get a break. 2. They're twins and they're both 28 now. I told my younger step and half siblings that my sister, who is biologically as related to my half siblings as I am, is nothing to them, when I knew they wanted to make her part of their family and wanted to meet her. 2 completely different mindfucks. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. My siblings were constantly ignored or belittled while I had everything I could have wanted. I don’t have anyone I can share these thoughts with in person, so I’m hoping you guys can help me resolve this. ) Their response is so wildly inappropriate and manipulative. It was done to me when my sister had children that my parents took in to raise. You NEVER need to accept abuse andjust suck it up. Our dad remarried and has has another three kids, our half siblings, with his wife. AITA for refusing to let my stepdaughter live with us. YOur mom is an AH, trying to guilt you. I am a single mother of 4 kids. NTA It's your body (not to mention your heart) who or what you choose to represent your heart on your body is up to you. My family consists of my mom, stepdad, older brother Dare (19), me (17f) half brother Jay (11m), half sister Leigh (9f) and another half sister Becca (8f). My sister is a 40 year old that is addicted to alcohol and is married to another alcoholic. My mom has two older kids, my half siblings, from her first marriage. But you need to understand that this revelation has resulted in 2 very different experiences from either side. I'm 16f and I live with my mom, stepdad and my younger half siblings. It as done to my sister with being responsible for my brother and me. The reason your relatives are giving you grief is because (i) they're afraid that they'll be asked to close the gap you left when you stopped, either by babysitting directly, or be contributing towards childcare costs. " (Read as, 'you don't love your siblings') "Admitting you don't feel this way is cruel. I have split custody for my two sons Diego (12) and Sasha (10) with my ex Josie. Keeping it vague for privacy, but essentially one of my step siblings moved out after our parents got married and became a drug addict. You have the right to not have these responsibilities foisted onto you. I (26f) have been estranged from my father since I was 17 when I moved several states away to be with my grandparents. my parents are both trauma surgeons and have always worked odd hours so i essentially raised my siblings until i moved out for college. SD was out of the picture before I was born, total NC. You didn't flaunt the tattoo. Even though I know that will never actually happen I also know it might have been mean to say that to them. My mom took my sister dress shopping on Saturday and I stayed at NTA You weren't criticizing your siblings. So, a gender-neutral name is one that can apply to women as well as a man; as such, the friend assumed the sibling was female. My parents are divorced and I'm the middle child from their marriage. Dare and I lost our dad when I was around 2 and he was 4. Or maybe it’s even transactional - you slip the kid a $20 or let them have friends over or trade a chore. AITA for never helping my siblings with their kids at family events. I had planned a something for me and my sister, a vacation only for us sisters. I (19F) recently found out that my stepmom (40F) wants me to split my college fund with my step-siblings (17M and 15F). You're misleading everyone. Anyways, because of all of this, I decided to go no contact with her, which has caused some issues with my siblings. She seems like she’s a decent parent but I am not willing to develop any sort of relationship with her, even for the sake of my half sisters. She responded that they couldn’t really afford it, and had to take the funds out of their planned inheritance for us grandkids. My brother is 17, I'm 16 and my sister is 15. As a self-supporting adult you can completely ignore them and even tell them that they were not fair to you. He's pretty broke so doesnt pay child support and would stop by every now and AITA for informing my father about his siblings abandoning us. Truth to be told you are just unlucky and your father is an asshole for having no part in your life. The reason I am questioning myself is I don't have any negative feelings toward the kids but the way I talked to my husband's aunt might have come across like I hated them, or like I told my mom that I would prefer my dad to be at the hospital with me over my step and half siblings and then I told her I would pick him over them and her and her husband. You don’t HAVE to go the extra mile, but in an ideal world you have parents who go the extra mile for you, so it’s all out of love. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I recognized this from an early age. I have never felt close to my half brother and sister. (1) I don't want to go to my sibling's wedding, as they haven't spoken to me in years. My dad died 9 years ago and my mom married Dave 6 years ago. AITA For Not Staying With Mother Because of My Future Step Brother? Not the A-hole. I (30F) was appointed MOH. I drop them off when I go to school. Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, verbal abuse, exploitation. I told my husband's aunt that I was not responsible for raising his half siblings and that she shouldn't want them to be somewhere they are unwanted and unloved. About two weeks before, her mum called me and asked if I'm willing to take her two step sisters as well. AITA for telling my mom to treat my brothers the same way I am? Not the A-hole. My (16f) class missed out on our school trip this year because of the pandemic. He has 3 children from a previous marriage, Lucas (18m), Lily (16f) and Kayla (13f). Not the A-hole. i 21m am the oldest of 8 kids with the youngest being 11. •. Reply reply. They are ass holes for giving crap to you. I have three older siblings, my sister, brother 1, and brother 2. 3 younger kids with current wife. If you do sometimes talk to the half-siblings, it would be a courtesy to invite them to the reception. I(34f) am the oldest of 7. My dad cheated on my mom and that's how Laura came to be. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. My sister (34F) and her husband (36M) just got married 3 months ago. I (37F) am significantly older than my two half siblings (Chloe 14F, Katie 10F). AITA for telling my parents that my siblings aren’t my responsibility. Ask what they want for their birthday. If you start that now, there will be decades of "last christmases" where you are expected to taske the abuse. " I think you know that too, which is why you didn't put "AITA for not acknowledging my half-siblings existence" as your title. It does not make sense to be in a hotel room with a man. For you, you gained a father and a bonus mom. The younger children always get away with a lot more because the parents were worn down by the older kids. r/AmItheAsshole. Which means what they will give is peanuts. You don't owe them anything just because you're related, it's better to have people there whose company you actually enjoy. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: (1) I tell people I don’t love my siblings and I go out of my way to avoid interaction with them. I pick them up and watch them until my mom comes home and I often watch them at night when my mom and Ted go out. Here’s some family drama, a lot of friends and relatives are kinda mixed on this so I don’t know how much of an AH I am or not here. get reddit premium. Hi reddit, I’m really conflicted right now because I feel like a dick but I also don’t think I’m entirely unjustified here. My mom remarried soon after to her husband who has 5 kids (7, 10, 12, 15, and 18). It's your wedding, invite who you want. And barring special occasions don’t speak at all. I (33f) have a three older siblings (37m, 35f, 35m) and a half-sister "Laura" (24f). Things have never been particularly good or stable, but now we're at rock bottom. So I (17F) have a younger sister (16F) who we’ll call Sophia. AITA for not sharing my money saved for a school trip between my siblings? Not the A-hole. You are the second of the same sex with very little separation in age. He’s a danger to her and my younger siblings but that’s an entirely different shitshow of a story. Spend the whole day at a friend's house, go to the movies, get dinner. Award. It was only exposed when your half sister carelessly tugged and tore your shirt. Well done! you did the right thing. Unfortunately, my two siblings (21f and 19m) and I are the products an on-going affair between my mom (44f) and her current husband (43m). Genelle (19F) (16M) (14F) Callie (13F) Callie is paralyzed and can’t speak due to an accident she had when AITA for telling my half brother we're half siblings not full? Not the A-hole. Warning, long story trying to make it short as possible with important details. AITA for not letting my kids' sister call me dad? Not the A-hole. You were pointing out their issues and criticizing your parents role in them. it’s a classic abuser technique they’re trying to use on you. 8. Partly because their father didn't want my mother to remarry and influenced them against me. I cannot expect my siblings to try and cover costs when their income ranges from 55k to 97k. She's 16, I'm 31. My We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Okay of course. My mom approached me a week ago and told me that Ted was moving in with us. Sophia has been copying from when we were just babies, from dying her hair the same color as me to copying the way I speak. NAH, you are feeling jealous because you lag a basic need in your life. iz jl vs sx op lk fg ui lo ea